Where did you get a picture of my penis
i already hear my dad disowning me
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
