Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize