after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
