not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
