he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
