I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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