just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
