Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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