so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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