i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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