We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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