So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
