I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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