the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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