The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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