Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He passed out mid-signature
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
is it fun? or sober?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
