Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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