he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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