Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
