Define "chronic" masturbator.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
