you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize