am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
