this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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