What a fucking waste of an outfit
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
