I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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