We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
