Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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