Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
