we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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