you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Randomize