I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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