Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Did you pee in the oven last night??
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
