party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
