What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
