dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Oh god it's open bar.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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