I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
