You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
false alarm, still single
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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