All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
