Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
