I wanna passion pit in your ass
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
