Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
well you can't waste a boner
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
