It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
