you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
