We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
