You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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