Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I need to calm my uterus...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
