maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
