I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize