Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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