How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
