Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
