im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
