I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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