So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
