I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i love accidental penises.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
