She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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