everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
